When I was younger, junior high and high school, my mom would tell me, “I am your mother, not your friend.” This usually came up when I was doing something slightly rebellious. I was not the typical rebellious teenager. I didn’t sneak out except to quietly open the door to meet my friend…and do a late night Taco Bell run. In fact, there was one time she was leaving for an evening for work, she told me I could have friends over, but I was not to get into the liquor cabinet. I seriously looked at her, confused, and said, “we have a liquor cabinet?” She laughed and said, “I am a lucky mom.” So, I think the few times I heard this phrase were when I wanted to live with my dad (she thought it was because I thought the rules were looser, but that wasn’t the reason) and when I tried to wear something, let’s just say, a little older than I was to school (I swiftly changed).
Over the last few years, though, I have noticed something. I have noticed it especially since I have been married. Now that I am out of the house and on my own (well, for the most part), she is more of my best friend.
Don’t get me wrong. She is still mom. When there are weeks (even days) like this, where my husband is gone, and I have to go somewhere, she still wants to know I make it home safe. She still helps us, especially financially. There are times, even when my husband is home, I just want “mommy.” And I will never call her by her first name unless I’m introducing her as not my mother (like to my classes) or if I’ve said “mom” three times in the store and she still didn’t hear me.
Now, though, I call her for advice—from work to personal things. When my husband and I fight (let’s admit it; all married people fight), I typically call or text mom to vent and/or ask for advice. I vent to her about work sometimes and ask what I should do in a particular situation.
But that can be typical mom stuff, right? Well, I also send her memes and funny pictures. We send each other stuff on Pinterest. We talk about what sort of vacations we need to take. She texted me and said we had to go back to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter so we could ride the Gringotts ride (it was broken when we were there). We are Facebook friends. She even reads my blog occasionally (hi mom!).
When she visits, she takes me grocery shopping. But we also go clothes shopping together. She gives great advice on appropriate work and fun attire. She has helped me to feel more comfortable about who I am in various types of clothes.
We had a stage where we didn’t get along well. And now, I can’t even really remember why. But over the last, at least, five years, we have grown a lot closer.
She is passionate, she is loving, she is hard-working, she is motivating, she is resilient. She is also frustrating, too Type A at times, sometimes forgetful. She is a lot of things. But I got all the best parts of her.
She is still, and always will be, mommy. But now she is also my best friend.