Almost Was

I was listening to Eric Church’s “Thank God I Ain’t What I Almost Was” in the car the other day, and, for some reason, the lyrics really hit me this time around. The things I almost did, the things that almost happened in my life, the person I could have become all flashed through my mind, and I really thought, Thank God I am not that person…

But that is exactly what I have been thinking about: the person I could have been.

I feel I haven’t thanked God enough for the person I am today. He put things and people in my path so I would change, so I could become who He had in mind. I have been blessed with the chance to leave the toxic things behind and start new.

I could have stayed in bad relationships, where I was inferior to my significant other. I could have never grown, I could have always been timid. But God helped me get out of that pattern, and He put my husband right in my path. It wasn’t my timing, it wasn’t even a timing I had envisioned, but it was His timing. I firmly believe that. God showed me a man I could trust, who cared for me, who respected me as a female, who loved me for I was, who would grow with me…He showed me a man perfectly matched to me.

Then, I could have stayed a biology major. For one, I would not have graduated by now; my grades in those required classes were miserable. Secondly, I would probably be very unhappy. Instead, God showed me where my true passion was: English. While some may not think this is God-induced, I do. Because I felt something stir in me when I realized I needed to change my degree: I suddenly became more excited for my English classes, my ability to pay attention and care in biology and chemistry quickly diminished, and I realized I just plain wasn’t happy on my current path. He subtly showed me where I needed to be.

With that degree change came a change in what I wanted to do. I have been passionate about being a Public Information Officer for two years now, and the more I see what I could do, the more excited I become. I blame a past boss, jokingly of course, for this. But I think God gave me that job opportunity to show me that, yes, I needed to change my degree when I transferred and this is what I needed to do.

I don’t think I thank God enough for what He has done for me, what He has shown me in life. It’s time I start doing so. I have been so blessed in this life. My successes cannot be attributed to me; they are the work of God. I am so thankful for being who I am now and not who I was or who I could have been.

As things in my life change, and as this new academic journey and all its stresses begins, I need to keep these thoughts in the back of my mind. I am so much better now than I was because I grew in my faith. I still have challenges, but if I put my trust in God, then I can overcome anything, no matter how big or small.